How to End Up Stress Free and Happy on your Wedding Day

Your wedding day:

It's supposed to be the most magical day of your life. The event encapsulating all of the beautiful wonderful things you ever hoped it could be. A day surrounded by your friends and family.

And at the same time...

You're on a budget. Your mom and aunt and your mom's aunt are all launching their unwanted opinions at you. You have to pick bridesmaids but don't want to offend people. The dress you wanted is $10,000. You have to invite all of your cousins or else your Grandma won't talk to you for six months. You're just now learning that the color "white" comes in 30 different shades.

You now understand why people elope.

I wish there was one trick to make the stress of weddings go away, but unfortunately, it's not that easy. But there are ways to make your wedding day perfect for you--and notice how I say YOU--not anybody else. This isn't a show that you need to put on to impress all your friends. And as much as your family is giving their opinion on this, that, and the other thing, thing is YOUR wedding, and that's what it should always be. So here are five honest-to-goodness ways to make sure you are stress free and happy on your wedding day:

1) Hire the right people

There's nothing worse than having vendors that don't know what they're doing, cause you more stress, and underwhelm while charging you an arm and a leg. Do your research!

I've found that referrals and reviews are the key to finding amazing vendors. It can be so overwhelming to start the vendor search process, so asking around is usually a good start. If it's not exactly what you're looking for or not within your budget, hit the reviews! Places like Yelp, Google, and the vendor websites usually give you everything you need.

2) Prioritize

It's 2020, and there are SO many things you can add to your wedding. Floral arches, string quartets, videographers, horse drawn carriages, dessert bars...the list goes on.

Listen, you don't need all the bells and whistles to have an amazing wedding. And most people don't have the budget to go all out with floral arrangements and live music. My advice? Choose what's most important to you, and invest in that--the rest is all background.

For my husband and I, it was really important that we had an incredible photographer, since photos were going to be the thing that memorialized our special day. We invested in an AMAZING photographer (thank you Rachel Koeppen Photography!) and now have stunning photos framed all around our apartment. We decided that we didn't want a ton of cameras in our face, so we opted out of having videographers. Our venue was outdoors in a vineyard, so we spent less on florals and allowed the natural beauty of the outdoors to do the job. We didn't care about eating off of china, so we used plastic instead! At the end of the day, the cutlery and flowers didn't make or break the joy we felt that day. And we're glad that we didn't stress ourselves out more by focusing heavily on each tiny detail!

3) Make a game plan

Organization is a big factor in lowering the stress factor of wedding planning. Looking at all of the items that go into a wedding can be daunting; I suggest making a schedule for when to address each items. Things like choosing a venue and sending out save the dates take precedence over smaller things like decor and wedding favors. Set a date for getting your marriage license and wedding dress shopping. Breaking things up into smaller chunks relieves some of the pressure, and allows you to enjoy being engaged without having to work on wedding planning every minute of the day!

Another way to relieve the stress is to assign certain family members or friends to tasks. Have your mom do research on florists; have your best friend help you choose linens. This also gives you control over the wedding planning, and ensures that no one oversteps (or, at least gives a boundary if someone does overstep).

4) Have the people who will support you and your partner for years down the road at your side on your special day.

For some unfortunate reason, weddings can be a time where family drama rises to the surface. People can become more easily offended by the things you do or don't do. I've seen brides ask every girlfriend they knew to be in their bridal party, just so no one got offended. I've seen couples have no say in their wedding planning process because their family have taken over. It's nuts!

So what's the solution? Stand up for yourself!

If you know certain family members are going to cause drama at the wedding, confront them about it during the planning process. Establish your boundaries. If they refuse to respect that, then you have the power to not invite them. Seems harsh? Maybe, but if the alternative is having a miserable wedding day because of someone else, then it's worth it to stand your ground to protect yourself, even if you may offend someone else.

And brides, I know the bridesmaids picking business can be a world of drama. There's going to be people who feel entitled to be in your bridal party, and people who will try to make you feel bad for not choosing them. It's kind of silly, right?

At the end of the day, if people can't support you on your wedding day, unless they're standing in a dress next to you, then they most likely won't support you down the road. Supportive people will show up because they love you, and will be there in any capacity because they're your loved one.

If the purpose of a wedding is to declare to love and commitment to your partner, in front of people who love and support you, no matter what, then THOSE are the people who should be standing by your side and sitting in those chairs, beaming with joy when you say "I do."

5) If it's not meaningful or important, don't do it.

I love how creative weddings have become over the years. Seeing couples getting married in art museums or replacing wedding gowns with wedding jumpsuits---alternatives are so fun! No matter how odd it may be to someone else, if it's fun or important to you, do it!

The garter and bouquet toss has been a wedding tradition for a long long time--and most people just do it because people have been doing it at weddings for years. For my husband and I, we opted out of this tradition. It had no significance for us, it didn't add to the magic of the day, and frankly, we thought the garter thing was kinda creepy. So we didn't do it! It just wasn't "us." And you know what, no one really noticed!

If tradition isn't your thing, change up your wedding and make it different! Brides, if you hate wearing dresses, then opt for a pant suit or romper. If you and your partner don't like dessert, cut a slice of pizza and feed each other a slice. Have grooms-people instead of bridesmaids and groomsmen--mix up the genders on each side! Hit up Pinterest to find alternatives for almost anything.

Of course, there are many nuances to all of this, but hopefully you can gain some nuggets and put things in place to be stress free and happy on your special day!